The Problem with Criticism, Skepticism, and So-Called "Advice"

Dec 07, 2023

“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”

There are mixed opinions of who actually said the above quote but the meaning is impactful regardless of it’s origin.

As we heal, we become different versions of ourselves which can be disarming for those around us and lead to skepticism, harsh words, and so called "advice". 

This can hurt whether it’s coming from family members, friends, partners, coworkers, or trolls on social media. Some of it is valid, helpful, and constructive and some of it is clearly because the person has been triggered by the way we’re growing, the new ideas we’re putting out there, or perceiving ourselves or the world differently.

When it’s the latter, people will try to poke holes in our resolve, project their insecurities on us, and stifle our voices and efforts. This isn’t great but I’ve begun to take it as a sign that I’m doing something that is more true to who I am and less about people pleasing.

I’ve been keeping it simple when it comes to discerning the validity or the helpfulness of the criticism by asking myself, “would I seek advice from this person?”

If not, I recognize the insecurity, self-doubt, and possibly the need to be right that’s fueling their words. This allows me to see them through a more compassionate lens as opposed to a place of hurt feelings and sensitivity. 

Want a little homework? Ask yourself the following questions:

  • How did it feel the last time someone criticized you? How did you react/respond?
  • Is this person someone you would seek advice from?
  • If not, how can you look at them through a more compassionate lens and recognize that their criticism is coming from a place of insecurity or projection?




Enter your email address to sign up for The Holistic Wisdom Weekly Newsletter, and every Sunday morning you'll receive one healing seasonal food, one reflective journal prompt, and one transformative mindfulness practice that will support you in cultivating true balance in all areas of your life and health throughout the week.

I won't send spam, unsubscribe at any time!

The information provided on this site is for general informational purposes only, to include blog postings and any linked material. The information is not intended to be a substitute for professional health or medical advice or treatment, nor should it be relied upon for the diagnosis, prevention, or treatment of any health consideration. Consult with a licensed health care practitioner before altering or discontinuing any medications, treatment or care, or starting any diet, exercise or supplementation program. Neither Hana Miller nor The Balanced Woman Inc. is a licensed medical doctor. The content of this blog and any linked material is not guaranteed to be correct, complete, or up to date.