The People Pleasing Has to Stop

personal reflections Dec 16, 2023

We're in the season of letting go of things that no longer serve us. Just as the leaves fall from the trees in late Autumn, we feel called during this time of the year to shed what once was. 

I've spoken about this throughout the last few weeks and experienced it myself with a depth that has surprised me. The most notable farewell has been surrendering my identity as a "people pleaser."

It's okay to want to be liked, to make others feel comfortable, loved, and accepted but sometimes that good intention can come at the cost of compromising ourselves. I didn't totally realized that my need to make others comfortable is a form of people pleasing. For me, it's rooted in insecurity and fear of not being accepted for the parts of me that aren't always agreeable, easygoing, or popular. 

It's been a layered experience to accept that not everyone will like me but I feel peace in knowing that it's not my responsibility to change their minds or their hearts and that there are many people who do wholeheartedly love me exactly as I am - occasional grouchiness and all. 

If this feels like something that you're ready to let go of as well and you resonate with that same fear and insecurity around being well liked by others, it's helpful to think about those who know you best, who have seen you at your low points and don't just love you in spite of these imperfections but because of your willingness to be authentic, vulnerable, and yourself. 

Plain and simple, the people pleasing needs to stop. It's more than enough to just be ourselves. 




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