What Our Birth Charts Taught Us About Love
Aug 06, 2025How the Five Elements Helped Us Understand Our Compatibility, Triggers, and Growth.
What If Your Relationship Struggles Have a Pattern?
If you’ve ever found yourself in the same kind of relationship over and over— drawn to the same type of person, facing the same emotional tension. It might not be a coincidence.
In Five Element Chinese Medicine, we each come into the world with an energetic blueprint. A unique combination of three Elements that shape:
- How we lead in love
- How we respond when we feel unsafe
- What we’re here to grow through in relationship
And when you learn this about yourself and your partner?
You begin to see the deeper rhythm beneath the dynamics.
Our Dynamic: Fire Meets Water
My chart: Fire, Yang Wood, Earth
Jeff’s chart: Water, Yin Wood, Earth
I move fast. I feel deeply. I love out loud.
Jeff moves inward. He processes slowly. He loves in steady silence.
At first, we clashed. I thought he was withholding. He thought I was overwhelming. But through the lens of Chinese Medicine, we began to understand:
This isn’t dysfunction. This is polarity.
This is the dance of opposites.
In the Five Elements, Fire and Water are in direct contrast. But contrast is not conflict—it’s where energy is born. Where creativity and evolution become possible.
Why Knowing Our Charts Changed Everything
Before, we took everything personally. Now, we pause.
We recognize: this is my pattern. This is yours.
Understanding our elemental blueprints helped us:
- Respect each other’s emotional pacing
- Co-regulate through conflict instead of escalating it
- Rebuild intimacy after tension
- Create rituals that actually work for who we are
We stopped trying to fix each other, and started learning how to witness each other.
The Three Numbers in Your Chart
Your main constitution shows how you lead, love, and express yourself when you're balanced.
Your emotional response reveals what you reach for when you're hurt, overwhelmed, or afraid.
Your challenge or calling points to the part of you that’s growing through relationships — often through friction, discomfort, or invitation.
It’s not a diagnosis. It’s a mirror.
A Relationship Is Not a Perfect Match. It’s a Portal.
In the podcast episode, Jeff and I share:
- How our birth charts revealed our biggest emotional blind spots
- The different ways we process conflict—and how we’ve learned to meet in the middle
- What it means to be opposite Elements (and why that’s not a problem)
- How becoming parents surfaced both our strengths and shadows
- The deeper meaning of attraction, stability, and emotional growth
💌 Want to decode your own love pattern? I’m offering 15–20 minute birth chart readings. Book yours here!
Final Thoughts
Your birth chart won’t tell you who to love. But it will help you understand how you love—what you need, what you fear, and what you’re truly here to grow.
Whether you're calling in partnership, healing a relationship, or simply curious about your patterns— the Five Elements can bring clarity where confusion once lived.
Love isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. And the willingness to walk toward yourself—and each other—again and again.
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